The invisible husband

The other day I accidently bumped into my husband in the kitchen. He made a joke about being invisible. While he was kidding it has really stuck with me.

Our roles as husband and wife have really changed, for the better and sometimes for the worse. I will admit being a wife has been lowered on my list of priorities. Has my husband become invisible? I am always worried about the boys, the house and work, where does he fit in? I know it is normal for some change with kids, but I realize I need to make more of an effort to be present with my husband as a wife. We are in this together for the long haul and I want to make sure I do my best to protect our foundations of marriage.

Invisible? Maybe sometimes, but hopefully not all the time.

Am I the last person to not own skinny jeans?

What is with all the fads and how quickly they are adopted and adapted.

I love leggings. They are great with long (very long) sweaters or short dresses, but something that goes past your thighs. They are so comfy and easy. Over the past couple of years I have seen an evolution of leggins getting thicker and the tops you wear with them getting shorter. I am sorry, but no matter how thick they are, they are still leggings. I am seeing now girls in leggins with their tissue thin t-shirts tucked in! Excuse me, you should not be running around with your behind in somethinga as form fitting as a bathing suit! On the skinniest girl it is still not right.

Leggings were just not enough for everyone, now they are making jeans with a legging cut. I thought the benefit of jeans was that they suck things in where needed and hide some of your flaws. I don't want jeans that hug every curve, just the ones I want them to. I think these jeans are the new legging, everyone is wearing them. They tuck them in to their uggs, riding boots, stilletto boots, you name it. It is the new uniform. Maybe I am just jealous, but I refuse! -Until I can fit in them)

Are men really the bad communicators?

For centuries men have bore the responsiblity of being the bad communicators, but I wonder if the really deserve all the blame.

There are so many books, articles, blogs etc... about how bad men are at expressing themselves and women are hailed as the great communicators. We are the voice of reason, opinion and sanity. However I have really come to question this.

There is one circumstance all women face on a regular basis that tries their communication skills. We all work so hard to explain what we want, use many adjectives and even try and use visuals to reinforce our message. But so many times the outcome is not at all what we expected, wanted or desired.

Why is it everytime we get our haircut, the stylist somehow does not get it all right? I swear we were clear on what I wanted the length of my hair I wanted. We discussed it, where it would fall, how many inches it was and I even showed photos of what I wanted the length to be. In fact, she thought I wanted it to short and recommended cutting it in stages. Well here I am, with hair much shorter than I wanted! How much more explicit can I get, apparently I need to question my own communication skills.

Crying on the plane is not kosher?

We still have so much etiquette to learn about being the parents of two small boys.

We recently had a big adventure traveling to Pittsburgh to visit my husband's family. The flight out went great. The boys took their scheduled naps on the plane and slept for almost two hours. We really thought we had this traveling thing down.

We left early for the airport the day of our departure to visit downtown Pittsburgh and see some sights. The boys took brief naps in the car, but we weren't worried- our flight was around their second nap so they were sure to get good ones in on the plane. When we got to the airport we discovered our flight was delayed almost two hours. That was going to be a problem. The boys were already tired from a poor first nap and due for their second nap.

We started to feel a little panic. What was going to happen. Would they make it until the flight, would they take small naps before the flight and be awake the whole flight? We tried to keep them awake so they would sleep on the plane. Mistake!

Baby B feel asleep 15 minutes before we boarded the plane. We were not able to keep him asleep while boarding the plane. Unfortunately, Baby B quickly recharges and after that 15 minutes he felt no need for another nap. We got the boys settled and the take-off was without incident.

However, shortly into the flight the boys became very fussy. They were both so tired and needed to take a nap. Great, right? Well, our boys often cry for a few minutes before sleep (and sleep very well), but apparently letting your baby cry on a plane is not kosher. Everyone kept looking at us to see what we were doing to stop our babies crying. We tried to shush them, feed them, play games - but each only worked for a short period of time. I tried to rock Baby B in my lap- but they are used to falling asleep in their cribs, not our arms and all he wanted to do was play or flirt with the ladies on the plane.

While everyone on the plane was friendly and offered advice or tried to entertain the boys- all they needed to do was cry themselves to sleep- which we learned is not allowed. I will admit- I was one of those people staring at the parents of a crying baby on the plane and I guess not I get my dues.

What I am thankful for

Baby A and B have been napping very well lately. I think that all of the crawling and walking along objects is really tiring them out.

We are hosting Thanksgiving at our new (rental) house. The babies went down for their first nap according to schedule. Out of the blue Baby B started talking at the 1/2 mark. We do at least an hour to two hours so I was quite surprised - and nervous. I don't want him to be cranky with the holiday and guests over.

The big questions is always do you get the baby or let him make noise and either- wake the other baby or maybe fall asleep. We choose to watch him on the monitor and see if he got really fussy. After 10 minutes he laid back down again and fell asleep! Thanksgiving!

I know you like me but do you have to get so close?

I would never say that LA drives are skilled, but I would also say I didn't find them awful. I guess I am pretty used to driving in LA traffic. I have also driven in Europe, where in many places there are no such things as lanes, rules of the road or driver ettiqute.

One of the many things I never considered about Vegas was how bad the drivers are. I see at least one accident a day, usually more. The tailgating is ridiculous- there is often someone so close to you it almost feels like they are in the car with you. I don't know how many times I have braced myself for an impact.

Merging is non-existant, part of the blame lies with the road enigeers. Where are the merge lanes? Some of the merge lanes are so short there is no way you can merge in with traffic if people even bother to let you in.

People change lanes like they are playing pole position- quickly moving from lane to lane with no regard to the cars already there.

Finally- the rain. Now LA does bad with rain, it happens so infrequently people do not know how to drive in it and the roads are extra slick. Now imagine how bad it is out here with the drivers I have described.

I don't know why, but it seems like every state has sent their worst drivers out here. I just hope these two are better drivers.

Our nighttime ritual

We are so lucky that the boys are sleeping through the night. We have always had them on a pretty strict bedtime routine- as recommended by all twin moms - and it seems to have paid off.

We just recently stopped dream feeding the boys around 10pm. They had started acting like we were bothering them when it came time to eat, so we knew we had to give it up. The first night we didn't feed them it felt so weird not to have that tiny bit of cuddle time with them while they were half asleep and half awake. Feeding them may have been not necessary for them, but it was a part of our own nighttime routines.

Now we still go in at 10pm, but we just stare at the boys and marvel at how cute they are, how peaceful they look and can't believe they are ours. It really helps husband and I to sleep through the night.

The I want that-itis is spreading

Why is it that something truly looks more interesting when you can't have it.

This must have something to do with our caveman instincts- like in the caveman days if you saw someone eating something and it did not make them sick you wanted it. However if the caveman was eating something poisonous and died and it became available- you didn't want it.

Husband and I (with two little ones in tow), have recently been looking for a home to rent. It started off as a fun adventure but has quickly become a drag. We try to see as many houses as we can in an outing, so that means I am in the backseat with the boys trying to feed them a bottle or solids while driving from house to house. Fortunately they don't seem to mind yet, and no one has gotten car sick.

No house seems perfect. We saw one that had a great interior, but not the best neighborhood. We thought about it for awhile and inquired into it a few days later and found out it was rented. Somehow it immediately became the one for me. Knowing someone else liked it made me realize it was the perfect house and I was disappointed . However, the next day, the realtor called and said it was maybe available. We did a second showing and decided it was as perfect as a rental was going to get. I started mentally moving in, placing my furniture,and dreaming about our first party there. Unfortunately it turned out it was rented and now I can't get it out of my mind. I can't stop comparing all the other houses we are looking at to it. I want it!

It was a breezy 87 degrees

While we are not quickly acclimating to the climate in Vegas, we are learning to appreciate any temperature drops. This weekend it was only 87 degrees on Sunday. In our previous life of living in California we would have complained about how hot that was, but now we had to jump on the chance to enjoy it.

We packed the boys up and headed to the park. They had a great time swinging and climging on the monkey bars (OK- we held them up to the monkey bars) and husband even took them for a static filled ride on the slide.

All in all it was a fun trip.

Is the pooh bear belly a gift with purchase? Can I return it without a reciept?

Having twins and becoming a new mom is quite a shock both emotionally and physically. I tried to develop new hobbies early on to serve as outlets for my stress. My favorites so far are eating, snacking, noshing, grazing and nibbling.

I have a couple of twin mom friends. When we are out and about and meet another "new" twin mom, we quickly assess her. Does she seem cool, easy going, not too skinny. You know, the usual stuff anyone would look at. Even though I have done nothing to lose baby weight - and I mean nothing, no working out, dieting, not even pretend dieting- I am still bitter when I see another "new" mom skinnier than me.

I really thought that my stomach would disappear more on its own after giving birth. While I wasn't thin before getting pregnant, my one savings was that I did not have a stomach. I assumed that it was genetics and post baby genetics would take over. Not! I have two pairs of non-maternity pants that I can wear. Two. Can you imagine only have two pairs of pants in your wardrobe.

The funny thing is, I am still not a 100% motivated to lose weight. I have gotten used to dresses and skirts, and I still love my food. I know at some point I will have to get more serious, but there is too much going on already. New home, new city, new job, new babes.

Also, I do still secretly hope that one morning I will wake up and my stomach will be gone.

How green is my valley?

I don't mean to sound like a liberal tree hugging Californian, but where are the recycling bins? I know that in the residential areas recycling is available (I think it may even be an extra cost?), but in our apartment complex and every place of business we have been in, there are no recycling bins.

Come on, the world may someday come to an end and the least we can do is recycle all of the water bottles we have to drink here in the desert to stay alive! How easy would it be for restaurants, business and casinos to have recycling bins. Think of all the beer cans and water bottles being tossed, how easy it would be to toss them in a separate bin.

I am not perfect and have been known to let the water run a little bit while brushing my teeth- I am working on always turning it off- but one of the simplest things to do would be to put out bins. My husband did find a recycling center to drive to so I guess our patio will be filled with plastic water containers, wine and beer bottles and other items in between trips to the center. Please bugs- do not come and visit our empties while we store them- I have seen enough of you in our place.

Are all the houses so similar? A much nicer way to ask

Coming to Vegas has been a transition for us, as any move would be. We had a 1928 house in Pasadena. Full of charm, but no space, insulation, closets, working windows etc...

Where we live in Henderson is very pretty, but all of the houses look very similiar. While we were house hunting, we were shocked that the majority of the houses we saw all looked liked they had been built by the same company. 75% still had the same builder white paint, standard carpet, linoleum, cabinets and countertops. I want to be clear that we have seem some beautiful homes (including my in-laws), but with all the houses having been built in the last 15 years, it isn't the same eclectic mix we are used to in the Los Angeles area.

My husband has a dry sense of humor which doesn't always read well in emails. He made a posting on a Las Vegas message board asking why all the houses are so ugly. I realize that it was rude, and so does he, so I want to apologize. He really did mean that all the houses were so similar and lacking in the characther we are used to. We moved here, we will appreciate the style, thank you for having us, and again we apologize.

Thank god I don't cook!

We did a lot of research on items for the boys while putting together our baby registries. It was a bit overwhelming. One item we didn't realize we would need was a thermometer for the bath water. My mom kept telling me to put my elbow in the water and see if it was too hot for the boys. Somehow my elbow could not live up to the pressure of making such an important decision.

In a rare time of a few spare mintues in the boys early weeks we ran out to Babies R Us for supplies (and some minutes of freedom- who knew how much you could enjoy Babies R Us!) and purchased a ducky water thermometer. The ducky really helped to take the pressure of my elbow. Hot, perfect or too cold was now determined by an expert- the duck.

We relied on it a 100%, so one day when the screen started to fade we panicked, it quickly died. How could we give the boys a bath now? Luckily my husband is very resourceful and discovered we had another thermometer that we did not use- the meat thermomter. This was perfect, we gave the boys baths in the kitchen, so a kitchen theromemter should be ideal. While it looks dangerous with the sharp end, it tells the temperature acturately. Everyone laughs when they see it, but 5 months later it is still working. As long as you remember to keep it out of reach of your babes I highly recommend it.

We have a case of I want that-itis in the house

The boys are now 7 months old. They have such strong and separate personalities. They have had these personalities since the day of their birth, and they only get stronger every day.

Baby A has always been more into toys and things. While Baby B enjoys playing with toys, he also likes to look around and study. So no surprise that it is normally Baby A grabbing for a toy. As soon as he could, he started grabbing for as many toys as he could. I don't know who was going to steal from him, but just in case, he had a stash -sort of like my huband and I with sweets. Soon it became that when Baby B played with a toy, Baby A had his eyes on him, making sure that it was not a better toy.

In the past couple of months A has really started to make a play for the toys B is playing with. Doesn't matter if A just had that toy, dropped it, and B picked it up. If B is playing with it, A wants it. Luckily B is pretty easy going, because currently A is able to wrestle most things away from him, but there will come a day when B holds on a little tighter and gives him a fight. Every once in awhile B grabs a toy from A when he is preoccupied and we quietly cheer for him "Go B, you show A!".

Now we are starting to hit a critical point with A. While it is OK for him to steal toys from B, if B starts to reach for a toy A is playing with or heaven forbid touches it, A starts to cry. I can only imagine what this is going to look like over the next couple months and years. Mine! No Mine! I had it first! Mom, he took it!