We moved from Pasadena to Vegas with 6 month old twin boys. This is our story.

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

What were we thinking?

We try to get out as often as possible with the boys. Living in an apartment right now gives us a good case of cabin fever.

Most of our outings involve eating and shopping. I used to wonder why my friends with babies went to the mall all the time, now I know. It is out of the sun, air-conditioned and full of kid friendly places to eat. And for us ladies- a great place for retail therapy.

An Italian festival came into town this past weekend. We love to go out for food and shopping and husband is Italian so this seemed like a great fit. We knew it was going to be sunny and hot so we dressed the boys appropriately, applied sticky sunscreen all over their bodies and packed water.

Nothing could have prepared us for the heat. Somehow when we were out running errands we never appreciated how hot the sun is when standing outside for prolonged periods of time. The boys quickly turned pink from the heat. We all had sweat rolling down our backs.

Am I just a mom?

The boys are quickly coming up on three.  I guess I have to assume I am as dialed in to being a mommy as I will be.  We last moved over a month ago.  We have been in Vegas for over two  years.  Yet I am still at a loss for having done anything that is just me.  What I mean is- I have no hobby, I don't volunteer, I hardly remember to write in my blog, no crafting or cooking or even exercise. 

I go to work, come home and hang out with the boys, make dinner, put them to bed, clean up and watch TV or read.  Is that sad?  I feel like I should have something that I do, that defines me, makes me more interesting, but I am just always tired and want to zone out.  What happened to the me of my past.  I wanted to be involved, I was creative and tried things.

I can go months without even think of my lack of a life past mommy and than all of the sudden it hits my like a wall of bricks.  What have I done for the last three years?   What is my life beyond the walls of my house.  What mark am I making on the world, or at least what am I crafting to hang on my walls?  I don't know the answer, there a lot of things that interest me but yet I feel pretty content at the end of most days.  If you have any suggestions please let me know.