Am I just a mom?

The boys are quickly coming up on three.  I guess I have to assume I am as dialed in to being a mommy as I will be.  We last moved over a month ago.  We have been in Vegas for over two  years.  Yet I am still at a loss for having done anything that is just me.  What I mean is- I have no hobby, I don't volunteer, I hardly remember to write in my blog, no crafting or cooking or even exercise. 

I go to work, come home and hang out with the boys, make dinner, put them to bed, clean up and watch TV or read.  Is that sad?  I feel like I should have something that I do, that defines me, makes me more interesting, but I am just always tired and want to zone out.  What happened to the me of my past.  I wanted to be involved, I was creative and tried things.

I can go months without even think of my lack of a life past mommy and than all of the sudden it hits my like a wall of bricks.  What have I done for the last three years?   What is my life beyond the walls of my house.  What mark am I making on the world, or at least what am I crafting to hang on my walls?  I don't know the answer, there a lot of things that interest me but yet I feel pretty content at the end of most days.  If you have any suggestions please let me know. 

It's a mom thing

Husband has decided he wants to start a tradition of Friday night pizza. Great, but the boys are not so excited about pizza anymore. Especially tonight when baby B is not feeling good. Baby A has become very picky in the past month and when it comes to pizza he only wants the crust. Being a good wife I cut several pieces for husband and I. I give Baby A my crusts which he eats and then he starts looking for more. Of course husand ate his crusts. I asked why he did not save them knowing Baby A only eats crusts. All he could say was oopps he did not realize he would want any. I asked why I should realize when the baby is hungry when husband never does and he said I guess is a mom thing. This is his excuse for every time he does not notice something, does not realize a diaper change is needed, snacks, water, a toy! Some how he can zone out and I do not miss anything. I guess it is a mom's thing.

One plus one equals more than two

You don't really appreciate how different it is having two little toddlers of the same age until you get to spend time alone with one of them. On the rare occasions that one of them wakes up earlier than the other from a nap or in the morning and you can actually get them out of their room without waking the other, it is a special time just bonding with that one boy.

They really enjoy having you and the toys to themselves. It feels so different being with just one versus the two.

The other day Baby B and I went to a playgroup alone. Normally it is the four of us, with one parent watching one child. It was amazing how much easier it was with just me and Baby B. When the four of us are there I am constantly watching both boys (even though dad is responsible for one), trying to get them both to eat a snack, make sure they are safe and playing with the other kids. With just one baby there is was such a difference experience. I did enjoy it more.

While I would not change a thing, having two little ones around, even with two parents, is much more work than one child to one parent. You only have to worry about that one child, as opposed to "forcing" two to do the same things, eat at the same time, sleep at the same time, play in the same area. I do worry that each boy does not get enough individual attention, but that lasts for less than a minute as I am off to quickly referee some fight over a toy or watch them make each other laugh and squeal.